www.sausagemaking.org

Some humour for GUS - it is true!

Today my wife and I had a friend over for drinks. He is a policeman in a bad, drug infested part of the city and we were discussing the drug related problems he is faced with. So, the wife has drugs on the brain tonight.

Here I am now reading posts on the forum and chuckle when reading GUS's latest smoking adventures and experiments. Wife asks me what I am chucking about and I say:

"It's this this fellow GUS in the UK, he has been experimenting smoking Marmite"

She looks at me and says: "You are kidding!"

Me: "Not at all. He appears to have got it right though".

Wife: "Geeze, does it make him go on a trip?"

Me (not thinking): "Hell no, he does it at home"

Wife: "So, what affect does it have on him - how the hell does he light the stuff?"

Me, still not thinking: "You don't light the stuff, he puts it in his smoker box and smokes it there".

Wife: "How does he fit into the box?"

Me: "What the hell are you talking about?"

Wife: "You said this guy GUS is smoking Marmite - does it make him high and how does he do it? Does he roll it in paper and then light it - I don't think Marmite will burn like a cigarette!"

Me - light switches on and explain to her it is the forum for sausages, meats and curing and I was talking about smoking as in smoked sausages, not drugs. It is now quiet at home as the wife thinks I made a fool of her and is giving me the cold shoulder. Fortunately, she has CRAFT disease and won't remember the conversation in the morning.

Good one! ..& if you are going to get "tar" in your lungs I can think of nothing better.

Wax paper roll ups to contain the marmite slurry, ..now there's a thought

You can tell her I'm now distributing little wraps of it in clipseal bags to the local populace, right now I have 600 grammes of the stuff bubbling away (well sort of) on the weber witha big old freezer block keeping the temperature down for the cheese & butter...

I may go out later dressed as Jesse from breaking bad in my protective suit & NBC mask just to wind up my new neighbours...

Thanks JohnT

You've brightened up my day.

Phil

Got a few folk on a marmite buzz, & being the first on the scene with "mar-mar" as it is furtively referred to by those in the know they come knocking on the door at all hours...

"Bag-o-mar-mar for an Ayrton Senna"... :drool

Is your loved one consuming inordinate amounts of toast? ..crumbs in the bed, empty bread bin & a warm to the touch toaster at odd hours? ...it's not an intervention that is required, just more marmite, ..luckily I can help.

We'll be calling you 'Grouty' next!

Phil